National Escort Service endorses Hillary Clinton
In a Democratic primary that is becoming increasingly focused on endorsements, Senator Hillary Clinton finally has one she 
can brag about–from the National Escort Service. The organization states it has been providing fairly priced, intimate loving for 20 years and many of its workers said they were able to relate to Clinton.
“Don’t get me wrong, black guys are my favorite,” commented one NES worker, “but I just really like Hillary. She reminds me of myself when I started turning tricks on the corner. She’s an inspiration, what with her being GTA IV’s prostitute and all”.
What really sold the highly respected service based company was Bill Clinton: “Financially, he was the best thing that ever happened to us. Married men around the country were so used to being chastised for cheating, it was huge for them to have the president as a role model” commented the NES president.
“Re-electing Bill and Hillary will really help convince people that getting some on the side is not so bad. Hell, if your wife lets you cheat on her, she could become president!” NES executives added.
While most endorsements carry little weight, the Escort Service lives up to its tagline about going above and beyond your wildest expectations: its workers will be out campaigning for Hillary by appealing to her much needed male base, supposedly offering half off discounts in exchange for guaranteed Clinton votes.
Lemon Snickers is starting to see how terrific of a candidate Hillary Clinton could be…
