“It appears as though the initial programmers were poorly trained in HTML and left this tag open in all of our articles” commented Sasha Jenkins, The Onion’s PR specialist. “When the site first started, we didn’t understand why a simple news site was garnering so much attention. We kinda went with it and just kept writing”.

The error wasn’t realized until a writer wrote a staff memo about his wife being pregnant, only to have it delivered as a fake Christmas card featuring Frosty the snow man raping young children with a carrot penis.

When asked what was next for the once satirical website, editor Scott Dikkens replied: “Now The Onion can become the agricultural news network it was intended to be”, adding “I just hope farmers will forgive us after that piece about using hillbilly babies as fertilizer”.

Lemon Snickers is personally outraged that such an unreliable news source is allowed to exist.

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Many have likened Mr. Jackson’s deceleration to the one he issued rival rapper Kanye West in September. 50 refutes: “This ain’t about sales and sh*t, this is real”. When asked why he would attack what could be the first black President he noted: “This n*gga supposed to be representing the black community right?! This motherf*cker is barely black! I seen his sh*t–no arrest record, writes books and no illegitimate children–how black is he?”.

The Obama camp has not commented on how they will handle this. If Barack shies away, he could alienate many of the urban and youth voters he is counting on. On the other hand, if he loses to 50 Cent, he may never live it down.

Although 50 Cent is well known in his industry, several high key rap artists have already begun their counter-attacks; Rapper The Game stated he will release a new mixtape that revolves around Jackson and Clinton have a love affair, while mogul Jay-Z offered to feature in Obama’s battle provided he endorses his No Homo Jeans.

Lemon Snickers once made the mistake of getting into a country battle.

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Clinton, who once cited the game as “the cause of World War II”, has long since been an advocate of censoring violent video games. When asked for her comment, she noted: “Being able to kill people in a virtual world is harmful to society. It’s why I spend all of my time in the Senate cleaning up video games instead of improving real life”.

The Rockstar team isn’t just stopping at looks; after intercourse with the hooker, the pseudo-Hilary asks “will you still vote for me?”. Upon being killed, she says with her last breath: “Now I’ll never get to be president!”.

Election analysts speculate that the recent news may help Hilary at the polls with youngsters. “This could be the first chance the younger demographic gets to really connect with her” commented one expert, adding “this could give her some street cred”.

Lemon Snickers was the inspiration for Nintendo’s Wario character, but fails to receive any royalty checks.

Note: Thanks to NGC’s xbox 360 for sale group who held our servers up during the massive digg invasion.

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When the new line was unveiled, the jeans appeared to be near identical to those of the Rocawear line. In fact, one bystander reports seeing the Rocawear stitching still in the pants. When asked what was different, the millionaire rapper replied: “You don’t get bitches wearing Rocawear. Y’all nigg*s wanna know how I got Beyonce? I was wearing No Homo Jeans all along. You wanna f*ck Beyonce? Wear these clothes”.

He ended the press conference with the new line’s slogan: “A man’s ass looks real f*ckable in these jeans…no homo”.

Lemon Snickers is hoping to be the spokesperson for the new line, even though he was featured in Calvin Klein’s last campaign: Undoubtedly gay, but still pretending to be straight.

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