After several months of meeting with his top economic and military strategists, President George W. Bush gave what many consider his last important press conference, in which he formally declared war on the American Economy.
As the president stated earlier today, “The economy has been slowly stealing jobs from Americans, hitting them where it hurts most. [...]

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In the 2008 US presidential race, each candidate has taken a hardline stance at protecting American jobs against the looming threat of outsourcing. The candidate should have spent a little more time protecting their future job–the presidency of America. Congressman Ron Paul (R-TX) introduced legislations today that would require America to outsource the job of [...]

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That Hillary Clinton is one of the most well known and influential women should come as no surprise. Finally, a true test of her power has arisen–in response to news that her lead all over the country is slipping, the New York Senator has urged fellow women to withhold sex from their male companions until [...]

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Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama is starting to offer American voters a new reason to vote for him–his life long record of satisfaction. Obama spent most of today campaigning for Super Tuesday and introduced a new speech. In it, he details his long sexual past, in which he has fully satisfied women of all races [...]

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In a Democratic primary that is becoming increasingly focused on endorsements, Senator Hillary Clinton finally has one she can brag about–from the National Escort Service. The organization states it has been providing fairly priced, intimate loving for 20 years and many of its workers said they were able to relate to Clinton.
“Don’t get me wrong, [...]

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When John Edwards announced today he was dropping out of the Democratic bid for presidency, media pundits everywhere wasted no time is predicting which of his former rivals he would decide to endorse. The real twist came late this evening, when he finally decided to endorse his candidate of choice–himself.
In fact, it seems Edward’s was [...]

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After a decade, The Onion has announced it has corrected a computer error that has been detrimental to its reputation. The news source, known for its humorous parodies of real news, has stated that the ongoing problem has finally been addressed, when they located and closed an open <sarcasm> tag.
“It appears as though the initial [...]

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In a bizarre press release, rapper Curtis Jackson (better known by his stage name, 50 Cent) has challenged Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama to a rap battle. For the many who are confused: a rap battle is a formal competition between two parties through use of rap insults.
Many have likened Mr. Jackson’s deceleration to [...]

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People all around the world can breathe easy, announced President George W. Bush, as he has personally been pinky sworn by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that the nation will not pursue nuclear development.
“I know it’s hard to understand for us Americans,” said the commander-in-chief, “but in the Middle East, the legal system is so backed [...]

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Rockstar Games–known for breaking all sorts of cultural boundaries– has shattered a new one. In a blog post press release, the maker of the hit Grand Theft Auto series announced that the prostitutes in the new game will look like democratic presidential candidate Hilary Clinton.
Clinton, who once cited the game as “the cause of World [...]

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