After several months of meeting with his top economic and military strategists, President George W. Bush gave what many consider his last important press conference, in which he formally declared war on the American Economy.
As the president stated earlier today, “The economy has been slowly stealing jobs from Americans, hitting them where it hurts most. Today, I formally announce our mission to retaliate in full force”. He went on to say that the war would continue until “the American economy was irreversibly annihilated”.
Several critics have already claimed that this declaration …

In the 2008 US presidential race, each candidate has taken a hardline stance at protecting American jobs against the looming threat of outsourcing. The candidate should have spent a little more time protecting their future job–the presidency of America. Congressman Ron Paul (R-TX) introduced legislations today that would require America to outsource the job of the president to China–where the selected individual will work for $6 (USD) for a four year term.
Paul announced the plan as part of his attempt to cut reckless spending out of the budget. It has …

That Hillary Clinton is one of the most well known and influential women should come as no surprise. Finally, a true test of her power has arisen–in response to news that her lead all over the country is slipping, the New York Senator has urged fellow women to withhold sex from their male companions until they vote for her.
“This is the line. This is where women get to make the shots, women get the be the decision makers and women get to control the democracy of this country”, Clinton urged …

Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama is starting to offer American voters a new reason to vote for him–his life long record of satisfaction. Obama spent most of today campaigning for Super Tuesday and introduced a new speech. In it, he details his long sexual past, in which he has fully satisfied women of all races and ages.
He pointed out: “Many women were afraid of my inexperience, but they quickly lost their inhibitions once they realized my natural talents”. Joining Obama on stage were his wife and past girlfriends.
Even Oprah Winfrey, …

In a Democratic primary that is becoming increasingly focused on endorsements, Senator Hillary Clinton finally has one she can brag about–from the National Escort Service. The organization states it has been providing fairly priced, intimate loving for 20 years and many of its workers said they were able to relate to Clinton.
“Don’t get me wrong, black guys are my favorite,” commented one NES worker, “but I just really like Hillary. She reminds me of myself when I started turning tricks on the corner. She’s an inspiration, what with her being …